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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Should I stay or should I go?
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11/16/2004 12:58:46 PM · #1
Just wanted to get a few quick opinions. My wife and son and I moved to Florida last January. I had lived in Illinois my entire life and all of my relatives, Mom, Dad, sisters, etc...live back there. I am re-signing my lease for one more year here but I can't stand it. Can't afford to move back yet though either. There is no old "character" to the city I live in here. Where I come from in Illinois there is much history and culture and buildings over 30 stories. So, should I stay here and give it more time or try to find my way back home?
11/16/2004 01:03:26 PM · #2
How do your wife and son feel about it?
Their opinions are much more important than ours?
Ultimately you need to do what you need to do to be happy but not if it's at the expense of theirs - then you need to find a compromise.
Also, how old is your son - will a move negatively affect his education?
I'm really sorry you're so unhappy with such a major element of your life and wish your family the best of luck in resolving this one!

11/16/2004 01:05:29 PM · #3
My son wants to go back home. My wife misses her family in Chicago and my Mom and Dad are not in the best health. I think it was a bad move all the way around. Amazingly enough, this part of Florida isn't that great for photography. How many beach and lizard pictures can one person take? LOL
11/16/2004 01:09:10 PM · #4
I feel ya, you should do whats best for you and your family.
Listen to them.

When I was a kid we move all over the damn place. But my dad worked for the goverment and it was about his life not ours.

You will be happier in the long run.
11/16/2004 02:08:35 PM · #5
i know exactly where you are comeing from, i have no family here, no friends, id want nothing more than to move back home, why be miserable? you only live once. id rather be broke and happy than flat out miserable. if you move again it will be a struggle for a while i am sure, but everything will work out, it always does right? don't waste years...
i give this speech often, cause i am begging to move back home on a regular basis

kat
11/16/2004 02:21:44 PM · #6
I just moved to Illinois from Utah about 6 months ago, my husband got a job here and both of our families live in Utah. I want to move back to Utah ONLY because of family. There is so much history in Illinois, and I was never *really* into photography until moving here. The buildings are incredible and everywhere I look I see something to photograph. I am starting to love it here, you should give the new state and town time though. If you stay one more year and still hate it, move back here to Illinois.
11/16/2004 02:38:31 PM · #7
First, you have to remember why you moved to Florida in the first place. If that reason or goal is not being met, then it's time to really consider going back "home" or establishing a new home entirely. A suggestion that I myself follow is making a list of pros and cons. It's not an end all or be all, but sometimes, to see them in writing might help. Good luck to you and yours.
11/16/2004 05:12:04 PM · #8
If the family are all agreed then it makes it easier to talk about it and make the decision.

a) Will you make a huge financial loss by returning that could be less of an issue of you stayed a certain period longer? If so, can you absorb that without jeopardising other goals and needs?

b) Will you be able to find suitable work and accommodation if you go back? How disruptive will this be to careers, finances, education, social lives?

c) On the other hand how badly is the unhappiness impacting on all of you and your daily lives?

Sometimes we have to just stick something out for a little longer than feels great but it's bearable. Other times we have to cut our losses right now.

Only you and your family can decide, again best of luck!
11/16/2004 07:44:31 PM · #9
I suppose you moved in the first place to pursue an opportunity ... possibly career related, possibly something else. I would suggest thinking about what you (all) want to do and then seek out the place where the greatest opportunity is.

I love Chicago (as a second home) and it is full of opportunity. But I have lived all over the world (Montana, Detroit, Chicago, San Francisco, Alaska, Madrid, Italy, Vancouver, Paris, S Africa, Melbourne, Singapore). I can tell you from experience that you can make any place home, and you can seek out and exploit the very best of any place you choose to live. My counsel would be to chase the very best opportunity to maximize whatever goals you and your family have.

Best of luck.
11/16/2004 08:01:26 PM · #10
Go Home.

I am 52, and find myself thinking a lot about the time that I have lost with my family. We are spread out all over the US, and rarely can afford to get together. When my sweet "baby" sister died in a car accident at age 26, I hadn't seen her in over 2 years. I will always regret that. I am definitely not trying to be a "downer" here, but...

...Family First! Go Home.

God Bless,
Linda
11/16/2004 08:15:54 PM · #11
Hey man if u want theres a house for sale up here on the northwest side of chicago (we need to sell it soon to pay for my grandma's nursing home feas) its right by Northwestern U. and only 45mins. to 1hr. from downtown chicago.

i say if your family doesn't mind than get back to the best state,city,place,etc. in the world.

_brando_

by the way the weather in the "windy city" isn't soo bad right now.
11/16/2004 08:23:48 PM · #12
Just another resource to try:
Sperling's best places

And I just realized you live really close to my coolest relative! East Coast FL can be very nice.....but y'all did have an exceptionally bad weather year.
11/16/2004 11:32:23 PM · #13
Hi Steve, I moved to Delray Beach from the pristine Adirondack Mountains in upstate NY. I went from living 15 miles from my nearest neighbor to traffic jams at every corner....grrrrrrr. I hated it. We lasted about 6 months. The only thing I liked about it was the Loxihatchie Wildlife Preserve. That was a dozen years ago. We returned to the Empire State.

Three years ago we returned to Florida. This time to be near family along the Treasure Coast. This time I'm learning to appreciate the unique beauty and treasure of the region. The winters are divine, botanical photography is superb, the nautical scenes are nice, and there are some real good architectural scenes. There is quite a bit of history, and festivals, lots of street fairs with live music, an active art community, the ocean, rivers, and lakes, fantastic bird populations. Of course there are plenty of theme parks too. If you like to fish, this is the place.

I'm not saying it's for everyone, and if you feel you must be near your family, don't let anything stop you. If you're just home sick, give it a little more time. I think Autumn through to the holidays, is the time I miss up north the most, but it passes.

Good luck in your decision.
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