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DPChallenge Forums >> Photography Discussion >> Uhmmm...morbid spin on baby pics
Showing posts 26 - 29 of 29, (reverse)
05/18/2016 03:41:21 AM · #26
Originally posted by Lydia:

Originally posted by snaffles:

I was probably about 10 years when I made the conscious choice to remain childfree. So I was a little short on life experience at the time.

I am fascinated by this, Susan. One of our offspring does not want children.

Can you tell me more about your decision... made at ten years of age... and carried out until now, please?

I really want to understand this. It's so foreign to me... wanting to have a child as soon as I married. We have four... and none are married although two are older than I was when we married.

What made you make that decision then... and what made you stick to it until now?

My eldest daughter made the same decision - at about the same age. She says she was eleven. She wrote about it in a school essay and her teacher scoffed that she would change her mind. I'm not sure whether sheer stubbornness kicked in and made her carry out her commitment. She is now 44 so very unlikely to change her mind now. Luckily her partner is of the same mindset.
My youngest son is also not keen to have children, but his partner would like to, so I hope they can work that one out.
05/18/2016 08:04:35 AM · #27
It was easy enough for me to stick to my decision cause all I had to do was look around at the house at all the medical journals my dad subscribed to and read up/see pics of all the complications of pregnancy and childbirth. My mum also had my kid sister, (unexpected) when I was 7 so I was no longer the only girl in the family. So losing out to the baby of the family was a factor as well.

Oh, and she's normal, whereas I am not, and so she was far easier to go along with the whole 'get married, have kids' scenario. So she has a hubby and three kids and one of my brothers has a daughter. Four grandkids seems enough to keep the parents happy.

And call me selfish if you like, but I value one very important thing: FREEDOM. The freedom to travel, to own my own house, to work in dangerous occupations (as I have in the past) the freedom to live my life as I like without being tied down by the fiscal and other responsibilities having children entails. No worries about them missing school, not getting along with other kids, outgrowing their clothes, having to constantly spend huge amounts of money on them. SImple weighing of pros and cons. Being chained down to a certain lifestyle...or not. I chose to be childfree. Ditto the same for having a spouse - the last serious relationship nearly crushed me completely with all the emotional weight being involved with a man-child involves.

Message edited by author 2016-05-18 08:09:34.
05/18/2016 08:09:27 AM · #28
I really feel that if someone does not want children - really does not want them - then it is a win win situation. Those non existent children are better off than children who grow up with indifferent or hostile parents.
05/18/2016 07:06:32 PM · #29
Originally posted by jomari:

I really feel that if someone does not want children - really does not want them - then it is a win win situation. Those non existent children are better off than children who grow up with indifferent or hostile parents.

Exactly. I was not and still am not cut out for the death-defying role of motherhood, and never will be. That doesn't mean I dislike children. It just means that I know, deep in my bones, that I would be a poor mother and am self-aware enough to ensure that I don't become one.

For example: one of my cats, the goofy-looking one, was destined to be a mommy cat. Well, she had her first litter of two kittens at the ripe old age of 18 months...and after one month, just when they had started on solid food but still weren't fully weaned, she decided she had had ENOUGH of motherhood and took to hiding from them, atop the fridge.

Needless to say, she was pulled from the cattery's breeding pool and sent up for adoption, I found her, and now I am probably like one very large exasperating kitten to her...but she's not hiding atop the fridge from me.

I have since joked that if I were to have kids I'm sure it wouldn't be long before I was hiding atop the fridge from them too!

Message edited by author 2016-05-18 19:08:27.
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