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10/01/2005 08:43:00 AM · #1 |
Checkuary: The thirteenth month of the year. It begins on New Year's day and ends when you stop absentmindedly writing the old year on your checks.
Message edited by author 2005-10-01 08:43:19.
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09/29/2005 09:42:16 AM · #2 |
| Substance: A type of erect balancing performed by Naval Personnel while on deep sea maneuvers...Substance Abuse: When one of the above steps on another's toes... |
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09/29/2005 09:33:16 AM · #3 |
NEW OFFICE SLANG
404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking John. He's 404."
CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.
Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?"
Mouse Potato - The online generation's answer to the couch potato.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. "God, today was a total salmon day!"
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, "this is Dale, my...um...friend."
Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
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09/29/2005 09:22:32 AM · #4 |
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an *******.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money in the first place.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte' : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating |
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09/29/2005 09:16:40 AM · #5 |
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
and
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
:o)
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09/29/2005 09:03:37 AM · #6 |
| EXPERT: An ex is a has-been,and a spurt is a drip under pressure.. |
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09/29/2005 07:10:25 AM · #7 |
| felatio... a taste of things to come. |
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