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06/12/2006 09:11:03 AM · #1 |
Chez's World Cup Summary
I think England played ok first half, a little nervous, but ok! The second half was very fractured, and so typically English, still it was hot out there 30 degrees, and global warming hasn’t yet reached the Beckham Kingdom. But they do have Crouch, who it has to be said, should improve in the air, and will be ok with the ball, when he’s had his binocular lenses fitted and can see it when it’s at his feet. All in all I guess we should cut them all a little slack until the next game, and then pass judgment. Then again if I’m honest, we’ve got more chance of winning an egg cup never mind the world cup! Still I’ll have a little flutter, if I can find a pig to fly to England and put the bet on for me.
I’ve been watching all the games and I figure the best team so far is Ecuador, as they have the fastest roller boots. The German team is a little stodgy in defense, not enough Black Forest Gateaux, up front they played reasonably well, but I think they lacked Ballacks!
Holland have Robben, but you need sunglasses to watch them play. Portugal have an advantage as they make the pitch very greasy for the other teams, a phenomena that became apparent as Angola spent most of the match on their considerably sized posteriors. Argentina need to spend less time in the perm shop and more time in the stretching rack, their all pretty short on the ball, and I don’t see them rising to the occasion.
As for Iran, I think they played poorly deliberately as a decoy to hide their uranium enrichment program under the pitch, which the Mexicans undoubtedly tapped into as they seemed to go Nuclear in the second half of the game, which is worrying news for a possible clash with the USA.
As for England’s other first group rivals, the Swedes played like a bunch of turnips, I think they need a backing group, perhaps Abba could oblige, and Trinidad and Tobago, well, lets just say they’d be better off with a couple of black and rums, sitting on the beach back home. Though I’m not convinced that any of the four will progress beyond the second round , my money would be still be on England and Paraguay, now where is that pig?
But let’s not loose all hope, the mighty Brazil have yet to play and if a nut needs cracking Brazil have the equipment. Italy, yet another dark horses head in the bed, might surprise us all, with their handsome legs, running in all directions across the pitch, whilst winking at the Bella bambinos in the crowd, correct me if I’m wrong but I believe Italy’s games are women only, on and off the pitch! Still with the well hung Ghanaian boys to accompany them, it should even itself out. Definitely one to watch!
Today though starts off with Australia and Japan, one to watch if you’re tied to the chair with your eyes pinned open. A source inside the Australian camp indicated the use of boomerang boots, so if you see a lot of Aussies with their legs wrapped around their heads don’t worry; apparently they’re still fine tuning the technology. Japan on the other hand have their robots so full of technology that they’ve requested the game last for 24 hours so that they can debug them properly. Perhaps they’d like to lend one to Fifa, so they can replace the Mexican ref who took charge of the Crouch/Paraguay game.
All in all it’s been an interesting few days football (Soccer for the Americans that might perchance read this dribble) and if tradition has it’s way, it can only get better, although the English should not give up their day jobs, especially Beckham who it seems has a new perfume out called ‘On the Head John’, which I’ll be buying by the gallon load as soon as I finished drinking the Vodka that the Russians sent me for not mentioning them.
Update:
Looks like the USA took a day off against the Czech Republic, who out-classed the boys from the Republican Party by a 3-0 win. The USA did a fair bit of running around but couldn't make it count (Sound familiar). Perhaps they'll bring in the big guns for the next match, that is, if they can get the US Senate to clear it :)
Those boomerangs really worked wonders for the Aussies, although, they should fix the timing mechanism on the things, as they took nearly the whole 90 minutes of the match to come back and do anything useful, better late than never I suppose, even for a boomerang. Watch out for the boxing Kangaroos next time out.
The Japanese, well, that's what you get for sitting on a lead of 1-0 (England take note), we need more Kamikaze and less Sushi!
Ah, La Dolce Vita, 'When the goal hit's your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a marvelous’, and marvelous it was to see the Italian squad hide away their little off the pitch indiscretions, and playa likea the boys from a Roma. The game was a treat, except for the extremely poor finishing of the Ghanaian forwards, and the almost frigid like first half movement of Kinston the goalkeeper, or mime artist, not sure which, although to be fair he did improve and made the odd quite reasonable save in the second half.
Ok, I'm off, gotta go get my makeup on ready for Brazil to make it run with tears of joy!
UPDATE:
Well, what can you say? BRA-ZIL Boom! Boom! Boom! BRA-ZIL Boom! Boom! Boom!. But wait a minute, what happened to Ronaldo? Was he really in the game or was that a double, stuck on the pitch whilst the real Ronaldo, played hooky in some German night club with a gal called Rita, surreptitiously supplied by the Croatians? Luckily, it didn’t matter as the little Kaka did his business, providing a new proverbial meaning to doing a Kaka! Which, if I may borrow the term in its more traditional sense, is precisely how I would describe the muddle that France and Switzerland left around the pitch. Definitely the worst game of the tournament so far. Now you know why the Swiss are neutral and the French always go down hill fast, post revolution.
The team of the day without a doubt were Togo, definitely unlucky! Playing those nippy little South Koreans is like standing in front of a dart board with both teams throwing simultaneously, you’re always going to end up with one in the eye.
It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it, is a phrase that comes to mind, when I watch all these highly paid players shoot wide of the goal, PUT YOUR CONTACT LENSES IN, and start looking where the hell you're shooting, is my gentle advise. And before all you teamsters out there start ranting about, it’s not easy, well it is for those that can, Lampard, Kaka and Lahm, Ok, Lampards efforts were saved but at least they were on target. Sheesh, imagine throwing the fries in with the chocolate sundae, you’d be fired on the spot. And I don’t go for all that remotely piloted ball stuff, put about by all the latest World Cup conspirators, either, I mean really, who the hell would wanna do that?????
Enough of the nonsense, and back to things that matter POLAND 2 GERMANY 2, any takers, or should Are za Germans two strong for za Poles? Whatever it’s a must watch! Looking forward to the other games of the day, well unfortunately I ‘m getting my feet manicured during the Tunisia/Saudi Arabia game, so won’t be able to dribble over that one. Still there’s always the highlights, but I’ll probably opt to wash my hair. Time will be on my side for the Spain Ukraine game, hey that has a ring Spain Ukraine game, Spain Ukraine game, don’t you think? One more time Spain Ukraine game. Anyway, I can see myself and my two mates, beer can 1 and beer can 2, cheering on the Spanish! Let’s hope we don’t end up drowning our sorrows.
www.chezandred.com
Message edited by author 2006-06-14 05:13:38.
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06/14/2006 04:44:18 AM · #2 |
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06/14/2006 06:05:19 AM · #3 |
well, not beeing biased but the brazilinas did NOT deserve a win against Croatia last night, 100% ... :-)
anyways, i think we *CRO* will advance to the next round and the only excellent teams could try to stop us, as for *outsiders* i thin ivory coast has been the biggest bang
i'll add somethin later ... i like this thread :>
peace
Message edited by author 2006-06-14 06:05:34.
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06/14/2006 07:18:44 AM · #4 |
Originally posted by gooc:
well, not beeing biased but the brazilinas did NOT deserve a win against Croatia last night, 100% ... :-)
anyways, i think we *CRO* will advance to the next round and the only excellent teams could try to stop us, as for *outsiders* i thin ivory coast has been the biggest bang
i'll add somethin later ... i like this thread :>
peace |
Gotta agree with you there, thought the Croatians deserved a draw, Dado Prso really impressed me in the match, man, that guy really wanted to do his share for the team and worked hard the whole time, as a matter of fact the whole Croatian team did that and showed true heart. I was rooting for Brazil in the beginning in the match but in the second half I was really rooting for Croatia. I have no doubt these are the two teams that will go on out of the group rounds in their group :) |
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