Chuck Norris on photography... - DPChallenge Forums

07/03/2007 11:39:22 AM · #126

Every Chuck Norris lens is f/you.
Chuck Norris' favorite PS filter is "Enter the Draganizer"
Chuck Norris doesn't use flash cards in his camera. He uses ammo clips.
All Chuck Norris photos are still lifes... eventually.
Chuck Norris doesn't crop photos. He crops the monitor.
The most effective noise reduction known is Chuck Norris holding his finger to his lips.
Nobody has ever read a PM from Chuck Norris as it always breaks the monitor.
Chuck Norris photos do not have subjects... only targets.
ALL Chuck Norris comments are marked helpful. In blood.
Chuck Norris is the only DPCer with a 9th degree black ribbon.
Chuck Norris photos are organized by body count.
Chuck Norris shoots in color, but the prints are always black and blue.

Message edited by author 2007-07-03 12:05:12.

Canon EF-S 55-250mm f/4-5.6 IS

07/03/2007 11:40:52 AM · #127

Originally posted by scalvert:

Every Chuck Norris lens is f/you.

ROFL!

idnic

Canon EF-S 17-55mm f/2.8 IS USM

07/03/2007 12:05:59 PM · #128

Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by five.

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

07/03/2007 12:06:52 PM · #129

Originally posted by idnic:

Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by five.

Two of them used to be Lance's. :-O

Neil

Fujifilm X-T30

07/03/2007 12:08:34 PM · #130

There used to be only one open challenge every week--until Chuck Norris split them in two.

07/03/2007 12:09:50 PM · #131

Originally posted by scalvert:

Originally posted by idnic:
Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by five.

Two of them used to be Lance's. :-O

However Lance Armstrong has more balls then all of france.

Nikon AF Nikkor 50mm f/1.8D

07/03/2007 12:10:21 PM · #132

All Chuck Norris photos are legal in Basic since every step is a form of blur.

wavelength

Nikon D300

07/03/2007 12:14:39 PM · #133

Chuck Norris sneezed once, we call it "the Big Bang"

idnic

Canon EF-S 17-55mm f/2.8 IS USM

07/03/2007 12:15:41 PM · #134

Chuck Norris played a grand piano in a marching band.

07/03/2007 12:20:18 PM · #135

Africa and South America were once one great land mass... until Chuck Norris planted his tripod in the middle.

Chuck Norris shoots in RAW. He does the same with his camera, too.

Message edited by author 2007-07-03 12:22:52.

idnic

Canon EF-S 17-55mm f/2.8 IS USM

07/03/2007 12:31:16 PM · #136

Chuck Norris doesn't use a flash, he just gives the sun a karate chop.

Chuck Norris memory cards are all CF-you cards

You never hear Chuck Norris' shutter click, because your deafened by the round house kick

Chuck Norris took his own baby pictures 3 years before he was born

fotomann_forever

07/03/2007 12:49:33 PM · #137

Noise Ninja was invented when the blood of Ninjas that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked splattered on one of his photos. He noticed how it smoothed out the noise. He still uses this method, he finds it relaxing.

LanceW

Nikon Z9

Nikon AF Nikkor 20mm f/2.8D

07/03/2007 12:50:16 PM · #138

.

Message edited by author 2007-07-03 12:51:10.

07/03/2007 12:52:02 PM · #139

Chuck Norris killed LanceW's post.

07/03/2007 12:52:38 PM · #140

Originally posted by scalvert:

Chuck Norris killed LanceW's post.

Psst can you change it to say Edited by Chuck Norris?

Message edited by author 2007-07-03 12:52:44.

07/03/2007 12:55:59 PM · #141

Originally posted by RainMotorsports:

Psst can you change it to say Edited by Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris does not edit. He only kills.

Nikon AF-S NIKKOR 24-70mm f/2.8G ED

07/03/2007 12:57:45 PM · #142

Originally posted by scalvert:

Originally posted by RainMotorsports:
Psst can you change it to say Edited by Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris does not edit. He only kills.

Chuck Norris's name got changed to author then lol.

Neil

Fujifilm X-T30

07/03/2007 12:57:47 PM · #143

Gaussian Blur was invented when Chuck Norris beat up some photographers who were talking about him in an online forum and they had to do their work with their heads completely wrapped with Gauze.

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

07/03/2007 01:05:54 PM · #144

Chuck Norris shoots with a Canon, but only when the grenade launcher isn't available.

fotomann_forever

07/03/2007 01:11:44 PM · #145

Chuck Norris uses this lens handheld

Simms

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

07/03/2007 01:26:08 PM · #146

I could kick Chuck Norris' ass.

Regards, Mark - Basildon, England

Simms

Canon EOS-5D Mark II

Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM

07/03/2007 01:26:31 PM · #147

No I can't

Regards,

Mark, Emergency Room, Basildon Hospital, England

Message edited by author 2007-07-03 13:26:47.

LanndonKane

Nikon D800

Nikon AF-S Nikkor 16-35 f/4 ED VR

07/03/2007 01:27:50 PM · #148

Chuck Norris's speed is ISO "!!!"

Message edited by author 2007-07-03 21:27:28.