Wanna cigarette, sir?by
DibutilComment by Philos: Critique Club Comment:
Hi there,
People are always saying that a good Photo must tell a story.
Before I go on to write a critique I always read the comments on the photo first.
There was a comment that this was just a snapshot, but I remember this photo from voting and I tell you why.
A few years ago I read a short story, It was written by Stephen King and the title is: The Ten O’clock people.
This story was about the people who popped out of the office at ten O’clock to smoke a cigarette, because of the cigarettes they where the only ones that could see that the earth was being taken over by aliens. All other people saw these aliens as normal people.
At the end of the story, the smokers saved the world.
This whole thing of going outside to smoke was new to me, here in Holland we smoked everywhere, there where no laws against smoking. But since a few years we also have smoking laws, you cannot smoke in public buildings anymore, and you cannot smoke on the work floor.
The photo you have taken is exactly what is happening right now over here in Europe (we are always a few years behind) and every time I see those people standing, in rain, snow or whatever weather we have I know they will eventually save the world.
So does your photo tell a story? Yes. Do I like it? Yes, I voted an 8 to be exactly.
Now you didn’t ask for a CC comment to have something to read, you want to know what could have been improved.
I agree with the other commenters that the woman on the left side of the photo had to be in the frame, and this woman and the one in the middle look like they don’t want to be photographed.
I don’t know what you did, and how you have taken this photo, but I would have talked to them, especially if they are colleagues, and explained them what you where doing and what you were trying to achieve. Then wait a bit, take some photo’s here and there and they will be more comfortable with you taking a pic.
If they don’t want to be in it, they can just step out of sight.
If this was to be a candid, you have to make sure that they do not notice you, I do that sometimes, and I use a method for it that works almost all the time.
If you have somebody with you, just pretend of making photos of him/her but move your lens just a bit so he/she is out of the frame. (Use a tele)
People will see you, but they will think you are taking photos of the other person and just go on doing their own business. This is something that really works for me.
All in all, I like the photo, as I said, I voted 8.
Keep up the good work.
Peter
If you have any questions, comments or other things about this critique, or are bored and want to spam someone just PM me.
Photographer found comment helpful.