Not bad for your first shoot =)
Some things that jump out.
Find a less destructive way of skin retouching. Her face is looking very plastic. Don't depend on blurring and masking - work with a good MUA and take your time when retouching.
If you're going to do white background then do it completely. Don't erase around your subject.
When doing symmetrical cross lighting, watch your shadows (can really see it on El-Dez Roets Photography (17).jpg).
Your lighting and exposure outdoor is inconsistent. Work the light. Treat fill as any other light source, meaning pay attention to the direction that it's coming in from and watch the shadows that you're creating. And make it fit, especially when you're trying to make it look natural.
There's no reason for skintones to change if lighting conditions don't change. Need consistency.
With wardrobe, pay attention to things like bra lines, fit, wrinkles, how the fabric falls, etc. And the clothes need to make sense. This is where a wardrobe stylist would help.
Technical stuff aside, good job on focusing on the model and keeping her comfortable. Eventually incorporate more elements to complete the image and keep working to polish things up. Have fun =)
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