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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> How "PUN"gent Are YOU?
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04/07/2008 01:32:21 PM · #1
Since 2008 marks 30 years that I have been out of high school, I have been thinking back on some of the more enjoyable aspects of THAT unique time of Life.

People have always called me many things (blink blink,) but one of the more presentable titles is that of the "Pungent Punster of Chipley High!" THAT one I wear gratefully because I have always enjoyed words, and their multiple usages (which often creates humor.)

IMHO, PUNS are the "piece de resistance" (apologies for any mistakes in French spelling) of "duble entendre."

This thread is intended to be a friendly challenge to all the wise souls among us with the ability to either teach an experiential truism or to share a "good, clean laugh"...to do so with the one stimulation...the punchline has to be a PUN.

Allow me to start things off with one of my own.

"Since I was a child I have known that red and blue are popular colors. Therefore, we may assert that both RED & BLUE have the reputation of being a HUES Success!"
04/07/2008 02:48:52 PM · #2
pun will begin!>
04/07/2008 02:53:17 PM · #3
Your French spelling is pretty good, but the English seems to need some help. ;-)

As karmat pointed out, it's only a matter of time before those other punks show up and start dishing out the punishment ... my own puny efforts are probably not worth posting here.
04/07/2008 02:57:43 PM · #4
Can't believe I forgot the general. He's generalE punny as well.
04/07/2008 02:58:58 PM · #5
I knew a girl in high school who had a curved spine. Her name was Ilean. :P
04/07/2008 03:03:23 PM · #6
I love puns! These are old ... but just to get things started:

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each one carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot around the world.

3. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank--proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

5. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "Why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

9. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

10. And finally, there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

04/07/2008 03:09:23 PM · #7
When coming up with puns, at work we often play the pun game where by two catagories are suggested and you have to pun between them. Why not go for something like Famous People and and Fish for instance. Heres three to get you going

Gill Clinton
Pikelle Jackson
Prawn French
04/07/2008 03:09:42 PM · #8
Of course there the one about the string who went to a bar and was stopped at the door " we can't serve string in bars in the provence" he was told. so the next day he tied himself up and frayed his top... he went back to the bar and was stopped again "arent you the same string I saw yesterday? "Nope" he said, "I'm a fraied knot"!
04/07/2008 03:15:22 PM · #9
04/07/2008 03:30:49 PM · #10
If lawyers can be disbarred, can models be deposed?

R.
04/07/2008 03:32:20 PM · #11
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

If lawyers can be disbarred, can models be deposed?

R.


don't you always get the deposable model?
04/07/2008 06:09:57 PM · #12
An angel in heaven asked St. Peter for a short vacation in California, maybe the Bay Area. St. Peter agreed and the angel departed with his harp under his arm.

He spent a wonderful evening in a trendy new-age disco in the city called Clam’s, which was both their specialty and also the last name of the owner. He ate lots of clams, drank a bit too much for an angel, and chatted with the owner who asked the angel to call him by his first name, Sam.

Next morning he shows up in heaven but can’t find his harp. St. Peter asks him what happened to it. The angels responds, I don’t know exactly, I guess I Left my Harp in Sam Clam’s Disco.
04/07/2008 06:42:20 PM · #13
Some of my puns are a little cheesy, but such is the life of a photographer. If it's not cheesy, it's for the birds. On top of that some models are so "open-minded" you can hear the wind whistling through their heads. :}
04/07/2008 07:23:08 PM · #14
As a fisherman leaned over the edge of the boat to land his catch his wallet fell out of his shirt pocket. Before it could sink a large fish grabbed it. While he watched, openmouthed, another large fish grabbed it from the first, then another grabbed it from that one.
His fishing buddy blandly commented, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever heard of carp-to-carp walleting?"

eta a poor visual pun;

[thumb]666910[/thumb]

A light plane....

Message edited by author 2008-04-07 23:58:11.
04/08/2008 08:51:39 AM · #15
No-Fault Divorce will never work in California! Everybody is way too close to the San Andreas! :}
04/08/2008 08:56:21 AM · #16
Originally posted by BeeCee:

As a fisherman leaned over the edge of the boat to land his catch his wallet fell out of his shirt pocket. Before it could sink a large fish grabbed it. While he watched, openmouthed, another large fish grabbed it from the first, then another grabbed it from that one.
His fishing buddy blandly commented, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever heard of carp-to-carp walleting?"


Thank You so much! This one will have me laughing all day! I am more than happy to expand the thread to include such Spoonerisms! Great FUN!
04/08/2008 09:48:33 AM · #17
Originally posted by 777STAN:

Originally posted by BeeCee:

As a fisherman leaned over the edge of the boat to land his catch his wallet fell out of his shirt pocket. Before it could sink a large fish grabbed it. While he watched, openmouthed, another large fish grabbed it from the first, then another grabbed it from that one.
His fishing buddy blandly commented, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever heard of carp-to-carp walleting?"


Thank You so much! This one will have me laughing all day! I am more than happy to expand the thread to include such Spoonerisms! Great FUN!

Ok, I am being really thick here........... Eh?
04/08/2008 11:10:01 AM · #18
Originally posted by SaraR:

Originally posted by 777STAN:

Originally posted by BeeCee:

As a fisherman leaned over the edge of the boat to land his catch his wallet fell out of his shirt pocket. Before it could sink a large fish grabbed it. While he watched, openmouthed, another large fish grabbed it from the first, then another grabbed it from that one.
His fishing buddy blandly commented, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever heard of carp-to-carp walleting?"


Thank You so much! This one will have me laughing all day! I am more than happy to expand the thread to include such Spoonerisms! Great FUN!

Ok, I am being really thick here........... Eh?


A "Spoonerism" is a mis-speaking, named after the Rev. William Spooner where sounds of words are inadvertently transposed into each other, usually to comic effect. It's in the same class as a pun, but not quite the same thing. One of his more famous examples is "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride" ("customary to kiss").

Thus "wall-to-wall carpeting" becomes "carp-to-carp walleting". I'm not sure this actually qualifies as a Spoonerism rather than a pun, because it's almost certainly intentional, but the mechanism is the same.

R.

ETA: Checked Wiki — according to them, intentionally created Spoonerisms are still Spoonerisms :-)

Message edited by author 2008-04-08 11:13:20.
04/08/2008 11:51:58 AM · #19
A friend send a bunch of puns to me the other day. for some reason, I didn't delete them.
Now I know why. They might come in handy for this thread. For example:

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
04/08/2008 04:54:32 PM · #20
Originally posted by sfalice:

A friend send a bunch of puns to me the other day. for some reason, I didn't delete them.
Now I know why. They might come in handy for this thread. For example:

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."


Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! You are so good for my laughing endorphins! :):):):)
04/08/2008 05:17:40 PM · #21
Those visual puns are great fun, too, like the "Thank You" I would love to send out to Bear Music & sfalice...although they are more difficult in written, snapshot format.

Here! Let me try! To thank these kind souls I would in their presence say, "I'd like to give you my 'Seal of Approval' while clapping by letting the wrists hit first, followed by a 'wave' all the way to the fingers with a 'SLAP!'and grunting "Ooork! Ooork! Ooork! Oooork!" (i.e. the sound a seal makes coupled with two flippers slapping.)"

On other occasions I might say, "That was great! I would like to give you a 'Round of Applause' while clapping my hands in a visible circle in the air!"

I know much of my humor is really lame, but if it makes you laugh...Who Cares! I have said since those days in high school, "Either laugh 'with' me or laugh 'at' me, Just Laugh!" (I offer this merely as evidence that I do care about the sad state of our world and the need for people to "Lighten Up!" I hope I help...a little.) :)
04/08/2008 05:24:44 PM · #22
What did the lumberjack say as he watched Stan clapping his hands in a circle?

That's the punniest thing I ever saw.... :-)

04/08/2008 05:30:18 PM · #23

A termite walked into a bar and asked, "Where is the bar tender?"
04/08/2008 06:26:55 PM · #24
I've groan tired of these -- can we have some new ones?
04/08/2008 06:33:39 PM · #25
Well, if you insist:

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
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