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07/04/2006 08:41:52 AM · #1 |
I'll start with this one I just read, which most of you have probably already seen
The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to......."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in..
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith...
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly?
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
"Oh ! my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief...
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed! on your um...equipment ?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod??
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.
Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!!
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07/04/2006 08:43:30 AM · #2 |
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07/04/2006 10:04:07 AM · #3 |
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07/04/2006 10:05:33 AM · #4 |
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07/04/2006 10:18:12 AM · #5 |
| That explains why "Canon"s are popular within male crowd :P |
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07/04/2006 10:35:48 AM · #6 |
Not my story:
"MY FATHER had a roll of black and white film that needed developing and he asked me to find a laboratory that would do it without delay. I started to telephone around and on my third call had the following conversation: "Hello?" said the voice on the other end of the line. "Yes, hello there," I said. "Do you have a black and white lab on the premises?" There was a brief pause. "Well, no, but we do have a springer spaniel. Is that good enough?"
More can be found here. |
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07/04/2006 10:40:40 AM · #7 |
Here's another:
Digital Camera For Sale:
A friend of mine is in the hospital and will be in there for a while. He doesn't need this camera and could use the cash to pay bills. Attached is the last picture he took with the camera so that you can see the quality.
Click to see pic |
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07/04/2006 10:52:18 AM · #8 |
This one is more of an optical illusion.
If you look at the the picture carefully, after a few seconds, you can see a boat in the background.
Click for pic
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07/04/2006 10:56:18 AM · #9 |
Works best for men.
Originally posted by tonytmtsh:
This one is more of an optical illusion.
If you look at the the picture carefully, after a few seconds, you can see a boat in the background.
Click for pic |
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07/04/2006 11:31:55 AM · #10 |
Okay, I stared at this picture for nearly an hour, I can't see any dang boat. Any help here?
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07/04/2006 11:45:54 AM · #11 |
Originally posted by vxpra:
Okay, I stared at this picture for nearly an hour, I can't see any dang boat. Any help here? |
Damn and I thought the Where's Waldo pics were hard. I give up.
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07/04/2006 11:48:13 AM · #12 |
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
Originally posted by vxpra:
Okay, I stared at this picture for nearly an hour, I can't see any dang boat. Any help here? |
Damn and I thought the Where's Waldo pics were hard. I give up. |
Okay, something odd is going on here. So far 3 women in my office have seen the boat right away. Me..NOTHING!!!! Well, maybe not nothing, but no boat.
Message edited by author 2006-07-04 11:49:05.
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07/04/2006 08:22:36 PM · #13 |
This isn't a joke as such but something that happened to me. I later found it amusing and it really made me realise that sometimes things get taken out of context.
Anyway...a few months ago I was in the bank doing my banking. I was waiting for the teller to process the transactions when my mobile rang. It was the local council. I was working on a job with them where I had to get photos for several areas within the council. They were ringing me to let me know what time my next group of people would be available and where. We were also discussing what types of poses and looks I wanted.
What I didn't realise was that everyone in the bank was listening. And obviously I didn't state enough for them to realise I was a photographer and the terms 'I want to shoot them shortly...make sure they are there and waiting' really didn't go down to well.
When I finished the conversation the teller handed me my slips and I noticed she was very white in the face and wearing a stunned look. It didn't click at that moment...then I turned around and everyone was looking at me. Then I realised. I smiled, thanked the teller and walked out of the bank....I laughed all the way to the car.
The day in the life of a photographer! |
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07/07/2006 03:45:43 AM · #14 |
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07/07/2006 03:50:00 AM · #15 |
crayon: hi Judi, what do you do for a living?
Judi: I shoot people, lots of them, and I enjoy doing it. |
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07/07/2006 07:28:03 AM · #16 |
Originally posted by Judi:
Was it that bad? |
Nah, it's funny how people who don't know the whole story often react to a situation. Kinda reminds me of a Three's Company episode :) |
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07/07/2006 08:02:50 AM · #17 |
Originally posted by acrotide:
Kinda reminds me of a Three's Company episode :) |
Dude! Ya gotta get out more!
;-) |
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07/07/2006 08:48:42 AM · #18 |
Originally posted by KaDi:
Originally posted by acrotide:
Kinda reminds me of a Three's Company episode :) |
Dude! Ya gotta get out more!
;-) |
Don't I know it :( |
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07/07/2006 09:05:07 AM · #19 |
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07/07/2006 09:05:50 AM · #20 |
Originally posted by alfresco:
LOL - I love it Judi!! |
Lol...thanks...I am pleased I wasn't the only one that laughed about it.
And yes...I was blonde for many years..hmmm!! |
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07/07/2006 09:31:32 AM · #21 |
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
Originally posted by vxpra:
Okay, I stared at this picture for nearly an hour, I can't see any dang boat. Any help here? |
Damn and I thought the Where's Waldo pics were hard. I give up. |
Dang, with that picture, you can almost see the "little man in the boat." :-) |
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07/07/2006 10:11:51 AM · #22 |
Originally posted by Telehubbie:
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
Originally posted by vxpra:
Okay, I stared at this picture for nearly an hour, I can't see any dang boat. Any help here? |
Damn and I thought the Where's Waldo pics were hard. I give up. |
Dang, with that picture, you can almost see the "little man in the boat." :-) |
hey i guess i'm not the only one that could see that "boat" :)
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