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12/05/2005 11:34:54 AM · #26 |
Want to one-up fellow sales weasel
You couldn't sell shit cones at a fly circus!
Rather not do a tough job or task?
I'd rather poke hot butter up a wildcats ass with a shoemakers awl
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12/05/2005 12:05:00 PM · #27 |
Originally posted by Shakey:
I'm busier than a cat covering scat |
Love this one. The way we say it is:
Busier than a cat trying to cover shit on a hot tin roof.
And then there's:
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
Message edited by author 2005-12-05 12:05:54. |
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12/05/2005 12:07:19 PM · #28 |
....and:
Busier than a fox in a chicken coop.
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12/05/2005 12:08:46 PM · #29 |
Mad as a bucket of spiders
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12/05/2005 01:48:43 PM · #30 |
On like bear's except it was
"Dryer than a popcorn fart"
also
if something something is dead or broke we say
"It's tits up"
refering to someone not having all their marbles:
"The wheel's turning but the hamster's dead"
Something being dark:
"Blacker than a stack of assholes"
If something stinks or is gross:
"Could/Would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon"
:)
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12/05/2005 01:56:29 PM · #31 |
For those times when someone spouts off at the mouth.....
"the only time a whale gets harpooned, is when its up blowin".
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12/05/2005 02:24:41 PM · #32 |
From a song by Mike Morgan, it means that nothing is new or surprising to you-
"I've been everywhere but the electric chair, seen everything but the wind."
From some of my West Virginia friends, when asked where another person is and they didn't know (or care) -
"He went to shit and the hogs ate him."
A way of telling a friend that you think a particular woman is not very attractive-
"I wouldn't screw her with your dick."
And one of my all-time favorites, as a way of saying goodbye to someone who hasn't decided to leave yet-
"Don't let the screendoor hit ya' in the ass on yer way out."
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12/05/2005 03:06:51 PM · #33 |
After you've looked all over the place for something only to find it right in front of you:
"If it was a snake, it would have bit me!"
(I know, corny, but I work with those kind of people.)
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12/05/2005 04:52:11 PM · #34 |
This thread: Another example of why D&L should get tax credits for the educational content of this site!
Before I read this, I thought "Colloquialisms" were things said by the guys that fought against the British in the American Revolution - you know, like when George Washington was in Valley Forge and said "It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra"
;-) |
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12/05/2005 05:00:15 PM · #35 |
Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
To a person wearing suspenders "You can never trust someone that don't trust their own pants."
That went over like a wet fart in church. |
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12/05/2005 05:14:22 PM · #36 |
On someone not speaking clearly:
"Sounds like a $hit salesman, with a mouthfull of samples" |
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12/05/2005 05:30:36 PM · #37 |
Great idea, this thread is slicker than snot on a door knob ;-)
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12/05/2005 05:37:45 PM · #38 |
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
This thread: Another example of why D&L should get tax credits for the educational content of this site!
Before I read this, I thought "Colloquialisms" were things said by the guys that fought against the British in the American Revolution - you know, like when George Washington was in Valley Forge and said "It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra"
;-) |
Now that you've brought it up, these are more appropriately "aphorisms"...but comments like that only feed the educational content of the site. =)
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12/05/2005 05:39:54 PM · #39 |
Originally posted by genghis:
On someone not speaking clearly:
"Sounds like a $hit salesman, with a mouthfull of samples" |
LMAO
How about "I'm fuller than a tick on a hound dog" |
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12/05/2005 05:41:12 PM · #40 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
"Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra"
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One of the funniest things I ever saw on TV was when I was in Oklahoma and a young weatherman came on for a quick weather update.
Right off the bat he said, "Man it's colder than a witch's....." (long, uncomfortable, squirming pause until he finally blurted out).... "NOSE outside!" And that was the end of his 30 second update!
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12/05/2005 05:44:18 PM · #41 |
I've got some..
For the person who makes a mess of things
'they couldn't organise a booze up in a brewery'
and for the gentlemen who forget to do their trousers up properly
'the stable door is open but the beastie is asleep' or 'you've got egg on your chin'
Message edited by author 2005-12-05 17:45:08. |
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12/05/2005 06:31:35 PM · #42 |
My Aunt Helen used to say, when someone annoyed her:
"She gives me a pain in the ankle ... two joints higher!" |
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12/05/2005 06:56:46 PM · #43 |
Like water of a ducks back...
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12/05/2005 09:05:37 PM · #44 |
Water under the bridge!
Water over the dam!
(I've often wondered what the difference between those two is!)
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12/05/2005 09:13:29 PM · #45 |
Originally posted by bear_music:
Originally posted by mesmeraj:
"f*** him and feed him beans"(and try as i might i have yet to find someone that can explain the reasoning behind that one) |
Well, if you assume "unnatural" sex (I'm trying to be delicate here) then a certain orifice would become dilated, and then if you feed him beans the flatulence would be very embarassing, I believe is what they're after with this one. Sorry to be so graphic :-(
R. |
Here in Texas, it's f____ 'em and feed 'em fish eggs.
Not to be confused with "Cuter'n a speckled pup under a red wagon." |
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12/05/2005 09:31:18 PM · #46 |
Originally posted by KaDi:
Water under the bridge!
Water over the dam!
(I've often wondered what the difference between those two is!) |
Good ones.
My grandma used both of these too. Which brings to mind another she used when we'd get too excited about something.
"Now, don't put the cart before the horse." |
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12/05/2005 09:34:27 PM · #47 |
We use this one a lot down here for when things are already done and you can't change them now... "The hay is in the barn." Another, for when we have to visit with a student or family for some reason at school and need to lay down the law, our principal calls that a "come to Jesus" meeting. ;)
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12/05/2005 09:35:08 PM · #48 |
Originally posted by KaDi:
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
This thread: Another example of why D&L should get tax credits for the educational content of this site!
Before I read this, I thought "Colloquialisms" were things said by the guys that fought against the British in the American Revolution - you know, like when George Washington was in Valley Forge and said "It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra"
;-) |
Now that you've brought it up, these are more appropriately "aphorisms"...but comments like that only feed the educational content of the site. =) |
Thanks KaDi,
That's the word that eluded me when I started this thread!
SC, is it possible to change the title to "Aphorisms"?
Much thanks,
Roxanne
PS Thanks everyone else too. I'm having a blast with this!
Message edited by author 2005-12-05 21:36:04. |
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12/05/2005 09:36:16 PM · #49 |
Originally posted by laurielblack:
Another, for when we have to visit with a student or family for some reason at school and need to lay down the law, our principal calls that a "come to Jesus" meeting. ;) |
Oooooh, that'd be real popular "up here"! <>
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12/05/2005 09:51:12 PM · #50 |
My mom, now 75 and Atlanta born and raised, has phrases that I have heard nowhere else, but having grown up hearing them, they all sound right to me. In the vain of the phrase everyone has heard (for Pete's sake), she says instead:
Good Honk! and sometimes, Good Garden Seed!
Where in the world those came from I have no idea. And the discussion of water over the dam/under the bridge reminded me of two versions of another saying that I have noticed. "Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise" is just a more polite way of saying, "Come Hell or high water". |
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